“i don’t want to talk about it”Posted: May 20, 2012
Last week a student asked if I was going to miss his class.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said.
I have started and deleted this post approximately 13 times. I have at least a million things I want to say about teaching, my students, and education in America. Right now though I have this sick feeling in my stomach because it’s the end of the school year and I have to say goodbye to another incredible group of kids.
When I start each year, I don’t know anything about these people who enter my classroom to learn, and they have no reason to trust me. It’s amazing that after just 180 days, I can’t stand the thought of saying goodbye. There are so many things I want to say to “my” kids, and we’re running out of time together.
I want to tell them how excited I am each morning because I know I get to see them, talk to them, and teach them.
I want to tell them I’m sorry for the times when I lost my patience.
I want to tell them I think they’re hilarious.
I want to tell them how much cooler they are than I was when I was in the 8th grade.
I want to beg them to keep in touch, because I can’t stand the thought of not knowing the adults they turn into.
I want to tell them to keep their knees together and wait it out.
I want to tell them they’re right, sometimes school isn’t fair and I’m trying to fix that.
I want to tell them that some days they make me feel better.
I want to tell them not to forget me when they make it big in the NBA, because I came to all those middle school games.
I want to tell them to calm down.
I want to give them a big hug and tell them that everything will be ok.
I want them to know how proud I am of what they have accomplished.
I want to tell them to pay attention as November gets closer, because I taught them everything about elections and the electoral college.
I want to tell them I will miss them.
I want to tell them thank you for being who they are and making my job so worthwhile.
I became a teacher because I love what I teach; I kept teaching because I love who I teach. These students, these people have taught me more than I could ever hope to teach them. I am changed because of my experiences with them, and there are no words to describe this feeling I have at the end.
The student who asked if I would miss them smiled at my response. “We’re going to miss you too,” he said.
Totally worth it.