Sometimes the best part of my job is hearing the things that come out of my students mouths. Without any introduction or context, here are some of my favorite student quotes from the past 4 years:
“Excise tax…when you exercise you get gas.”
“When I go visit my baby’s daddy in prison, I have to sign in as his sister because he’s 20 and I’m only 15.”
Me: Why are you wearing two different shoes?
Student: I lost one when I was running from the cops this weekend.
“Breaking and Entering is a misdemeanor, right?”
“If I was a teacher I would slap these kids. Most of the time you can keep your job if you apologize.”
“Why do they keep calling me African-American? I have never been to Africa.”
“When I was in middle school, I played with a Ouija board. Ever since then I’ve had bad luck and been written-up a lot.”
“If the Louisiana Separate Car Act was about trains, why wasn’t it called the ‘Train Act’?”
“Mrs. Russ, were Greek men’s penises really as small as they are on all those sculptures?”
“Obama is president of the world…like Africa too, right?”
“Mrs. Russ, I got in!”
“Thanks Mrs. Russ.”