dear tinaPosted: January 18, 2011
This is day one of my letter-writing campaign to Tina Fey. I’m hoping that she will accept my challenge to transform my life and career (or any teacher’s, for that matter), into the next great dramedy. Today provided some classic material.
After missing four days of school last week due to snow and ice (remember, this is North Carolina), we were informed this morning that we would be on a 2-hour delay because of ice on secondary roads. I always think it’s humorous that the phone recording pronounces the word “inclement” as “inCLIment”.
On a 2-hour delay schedule, we get 28 minutes in each class, or an hour in block classes. Just enough time to get them in their seats, take role, stop whatever fight is brewing, and dismiss them to their next class.
Somehow, our students always find a way to fit the most drama into the smallest amount of time. For example, seven of my freshmen were involved in a texting scandal that spilled into the lunchroom. One girl called two others “hos”, and four other students just had to take sides. It resulted in them spending the next hour and a half in the principal’s office.
I was then informed by another teacher that female students have begun placing their feminine products on the floor behind the toilet, instead of in the trash can. She is mounting a signage campaign.
Sandwiched in between this excitement, I announced to my 9th grade Seminar students that part of their midterm would be an oral assessment. Two guesses as to which word tickled them the most.
Other notable events: a former student of mine made another teacher cry by pretending she was pregnant, I investigated a student who has not been seen in 29 school days (but who is still required by the state to take the final exam), and a roach was found crawling up my wall.